My Neuralizer
by JustLetMePerfectIt
Summary: NYPD's John Dorian is gone. He is now a rumour, only recognisable as deja vu. He doesn't exist: he was never born. Anonymity is his name. Silence is his native tongue. No longer a part of the system. He is above the system. Over it. Beyond it. JD/Cox MIB
1. Chapter 1

You'll never guess what my muse made late one night. This may be JD/Cox if I can manage it – sorry guys, I'm a full on slasher.

I don't own Scrubs or... the MIB.

* * *

><p><em>Spanish.<em>

We are the best kept secret in the universe.  
>We work for a highly funded yet unofficial government agency.<br>Our mission is to monitor extra-terrestrial activity on Earth.  
>We are your best, last and only line of defence.<br>We work in secret.  
>We exist in Shadow.<br>And we dress in black.

"God-damn bugs." Nick Lawrence cussed as an insect splattered grossly against his trucks front window. It had definitely not been his day at all. His girlfriend of five years had left him due to her not being happy with his work and now he had to transport a large amount of illegal immigrants. For good money, true, but the darkness of the night seemed to summarise his overall view on the situation.

He stared dumbly at the road, over tired and tense. He had been caught transporting illegal aliens too many times before and he couldn't afford, in the most literal sense, to be caught again.

There were lights appearing in the distance. Nick's heart dropped in his chest.

"Oh shit." Nick apparently wasn't the only one to notice the police car lights that they were speeding closer and closer to as a loud resounding "Oh crap" filled the almost silent van. Knowing it was too late to turn away, Lawrence kept the van going, gradually slowing to a standstill as he approached the convey of police cars in front of him. He winced. There were a lot of police cars waiting. They were all totally screwed. Especially him.

A familiar uniformed figure stalked towards the van, a large smirk on his face. "Nick, Nick, Nick. When are you going to learn?" his smirk widened as he saw the sweat pouring off the nervous driver, "So, where you "coming from" this time?"

"Fishing in Cuernavaca."

The police officer snorted in reply, "Sure you were," he started to walk around the back of the van, "Let's take a look at your catch."

Shaking, Nick pulled his long, gangly form from the small seat of the van and slowly made his way to the back of the van. It was like walking down death row, awaiting to be hung or shot. The police officer wrenched the door open to reveal ten trembling illegal immigrants.

"If it were me, I would have thrown them back." The uniformed man sighed. Nick was so darn predictable.

"_Get out the van and line up people."_

And an odd array of Hispanic people left the van. While all were different sizes, they all had a few things in common. All were dirty and all were terrified and shaking. The police officer almost felt sorry for them.

"So what did you get Nick? 300? 400 bucks a head? Hope you saved it all for your lawyer. You'll need it.." Any other speech the police officer had planned to say was interrupted by the sound of an approaching car. Everyone at the scene stopped what they were doing to see a black car pull right up towards them. A well built man in a black suit slickly exited the black car. He had rusty coloured curly hair and he looked to be about in his late thirties or early forties.

"We'll take it from here." The man in black swaggered towards the police officer and immigrants, his tone showing he meant business. Nick found himself impressed by the way the man held himself, but he also felt a strange sense of deja vu. The police officer, however, seemed to be much less impressed with the mysterious man approaching his crime scene.

"Who the hell are you?" the police officer barked out. He kept his hand firmly on his gun in his pocket, feeling almost threatened by the powerful looking man.

The man in the suit rolled his eyes and answered in a gruff baritone, "INS, Division 6" Nick noticed that another man, similarly dressed in a black suit, also exited the car as his partner spoke. This man looked slightly younger than his colleague and a lot less serious. He had a youthfulness about him and he wore a cheeky grin as he leaned against the car.

The police officer frowned at approaching pair, "Division 6? I never heard of Division 6."

An eyebrow and a "Really?" was all he received in reply. This pissed the police officer a lot. Who was this man? Acting all superior. He was the law God-dammit! This man had absolutely no right to just waltz in and try to take control of his crime scene.

The man grinned over to his partner who was still standing by their car, as he approached the line of Hispanics.

"Who you got your money on B?"

"Tough call, P," The younger man actually had a slightly lower voice than the older one. The way the two addressed each other confused the police officer however. The man, "P" chuckled in response and then turned towards the group of illegal immigrants, addressing the first one.

"_How ya doing there buddy?" _Whatever the crowd had expected, it had certainty not been that. Not only had P spoken perfect Spanish, he had also been friendly and almost smiled at the trembling hispanic man. In return the man nervously nodded. P carried on down the line, asking questions similar to that and just asking how people were and welcoming them to the United States.

However, he paused when he got to the last person in the group. The man looked slightly different from the others. It was hardly noticeable, but there was something not quite right about him. B and P were probably the only people there to actually notice it.

"_What if I break your face?" _The Hispanic man laughed and nodded in reply and P grinned. Found him.

"_No seriously. Besides, what the hell happened to you? When they were giving out intelligence and looks did you forget to get in line? God I would hate to see your mom."_ The agent was only clarifying what he already knew. As expected the Hispanic man nodded and laughed.

"_You don't speak a word of Spanish."_ The man continued to laugh and P grinned, "We've got a winner here, huh Ben?" P said, finally using the man's proper name. A privilege that only he was allowed to take advantage of. Literally.

Ben was clutching his sides with laughter and leaning hard on the car to keep his balance. Some of the stories they were told/crappy acting skills were priceless, "Oh I know Perry, I wish I had my camera."

Smiling at the amusmant of his partner, Perry kept a hold of the last immigrant and addressed the others, "_Right, you can all go. Get back in the truck and have a happy life. Welcome to the USA."_

The police officer shouted indignantly, "No. Sir! Sir, you can't-"

P swiped a hand across his nose and crossed his arms. In the background Ben dramatically murmured ,"Showdown" and burst into insane giggles.

"Don't "sir" me you jackass. You have no idea in hell who you're dealing with and trust me when I say you re-he-lly don't want to piss me off." P growled and then turned to the immigrants still standing there, "_Get in the truck. Now!"_ At his words a flurry of movement showed the immigrants all immediately obliging him, some even pausing to thank him. All the while P kept a tight hold on the 'non-Spanish speaking hispanic'.

The man tried to leave but Perry kept a tighter grip on him, "We're going to have a quite frankly fun little chat with our friend here. You ,asshole, can cry all the way back to the station. Keep on protecting us from the illegal 'aliens'" B let of another chain of giggles as the policeman stood there stunned. As P and B dragged the man down a hill and into a field Perry overheard the policeman grumbling about 'Division 6 not being real' and how 'this was bullshit.'

When they were far away enough so as not to be overheard by any stragglers, Perry turned to the man with a serious expression on his face.

"Why do you things never learn. We always keep an eye on this area. So yeah, kinda guessing you're not from around here," with that P grabbed a pen-knife from a pocket in his suit and slashed downwards at the man's chest- literally cutting him in half. B shuddered behind him as the skin fell off revealing an ugly green figure.

"I never get used to that... Oh hey Mikey," B grinned at the revealed alien. Mikey without a disguise looked nothing like a human. First off he was green, not to mention the fact that his eyes stuck out, his body reassembled a deformed large potato and he had two sets of extra arms growing out of his back.

Mikey let go of the human head on a pole he was holding and gazed sadly as it fell onto the ground. B still didn't understand all alien languages so he watched as P sternly addressed the alien.

"Gods sake, when did they go ahead and let your ugly big self out of jail Mike-ster?"

'Mikey' make a couple of camel like noises that sounded like grunts to Ben. Perry seemed to understand however.

"He says he's here for political refuge."

B shook his head and addressed the alien, "Come on dude, you know how many rules you just violated. Now Per-bear and I need to do a lot of paperwork." Perry cast a quick glare at his partner but otherwise ignored the annoying nickname.

"Put up your arms and flippers." Mikey obliged, but not without again grunting in his home tongue. All seemed to be going well. Well, that is, until Perry heard a male gasp from behind Mikey. One of Mikey's eye swivelled round to meet the shocked gaze of the policeman. The son of a idiot hadn't left when P had told him to.

"Oh Shit." P grumbled as Mikey started growling and preparing to attack the man. B brought an odd looking gun from inside his suits jacket, but was shoved harshly to the ground by Mikey as he turned to attack the terrified policeman.

"Shoot him Ben!" Perry watched in despair as Ben fumbled with his gun, he knew why and he didn't want to think about what he knew would happen due to it. A few seconds passed and Mikey charged at the police officer. He knew he had to be the one to do it so he grabbed Ben's weapon and shot at Mikey.

The alien burst into blue slime- most of which landed on the still terrified police officer. Perry sighed as the coated man stumbled towards him.

"T-t-t-hat... w-w-w-"

"Was not human. We know," P pulled some of the slime of the man's shoulder, "That's going to stain. You should have left when I told you to you absolute idiot."

The man pulled a gun from his pocket, but it shook dangerously in his hand.

"Right, calm down kiddo and I'll tell you what happened," Perry heard the sound of a van arriving in the distance. He brought out a large silver pen from his pocket. Or at least it looked like a pen, until he pressed a button and another section shot out of the top of it with an odd red screen at the top. "This is called a neuralizer. It's a gift from some friends from out of town. This red eye isolates the brain's impulses- specifically the ones for memory. So it's literally a mind fuck," He grinned up at the men group at the top of the hill, "Give me a splay burn on the perimeter guys, with holes at 40, 60 and 80 metres from right here. Thank you."

The policeman watched in horror as the men dressed similarly to B and P, but with sunglasses, used what seemed to be flame-throwers to do what they were told to. Which seemed to be setting cacti alight then putting out the fire on them. "What the hell is going on?"

"Best question you've asked all day there," Perry absently mindedly answered as he fiddled with some buttons on the 'neuralizer'. "The answer you're looking for lies right here" He pointed towards the centre of the the red section on the neuralizer.

The policeman gazed into the red dot, "Who are you, really?"

"Really," P placed on a pair of black shades that made him look actually quite cool. "I am just a figment of your imagination. What do ya think of that sunshine?" He pushed a button and the world seemed to flash for a second as the sound of a camera shutter filled the police officer's ears.

Perry whipped off the sunglasses and smirked bitterly, "Damn, what a gullible breed." He then raised his voice into a commanding tone and looked the dazed and confused police officer in the eye. "I'm serious. You're very lucky to be alive after that blast."

"What blast?"

"The underground gas main idiot. You really need to learn how to use a gun properly genius," he gestured towards the top of the hill, "Go get yourself checked by the EMS parked just over the hill there."

The man turned and walked up the hill and out of sight. Perry closed his eyes for a split second and sighed. Ben was sitting on a rock looking utterly dejected. He and B had been partners from the beginning of their life at the agency. Ben had eventually became his friend even though Perry had been a hard nut to crack. In fact they had become best friends. They had erased their names but allowed each other to use them regardless. Not just anyone could call him Perry. No one was really allowed to. At all. Literally.

"I'm sorry Perry. I just couldn't do it." Ben's voice was mono-tone. Dejected. He knew what was inevitably coming and part of him was glad.

"It happens Ben."

"You know that's not true Agent P." Perry's head snapped up to meet Ben's sad eyes at the use of his official name. "Ever since I got sick, the spirit been willing, but the rest of me... You know, I always wanted to be a photographer. I always kinda regretted not doing it. The first thing I'd do is take a picture of the stars. We never just look at them anymore. I tell you Per. I will miss you."

Perry turned to him with what seemed to be tears in his eyes, "Benj I can promise- you won't." He slipped on his sunglasses and pressed the button on the neuralizer. The world flashed and Perry sighed.

* * *

><p>"NYPD Stop! Er.. Freeze! Please!" John Dorian added as an after-note. After all just cause you're chasing down a criminal doesn't mean you have to lose your manners. Okay unless it was a murderer. The man obviously didn't stop so Dorian groaned comically and continued chasing him.<p>

"All yours, Dorian." John heard his over weight colleagues call. He grumbled as he ran after the criminal. Why work in a police department if you couldn't catch the criminals? What was the point? Seriously.

John was actually quite a good runner. In high school it had been the only sport he could do so the teachers allowed him to practice running during the PE periods- rather than mess up the team games. Another athletic talent he had was gymnastics and that came in use quite a lot in his job. The man ran towards a bridge- Jonathan hot on his heels.

"Freeze means stop! I said it before, just in-case you didn't catch it!" John clarified for the man, even though he was pretty sure he didn't need it. He gasped as the man climbed up onto the edge of the bridge, looking down at the traffic beneath.

"No! Wait!" John's call came to late and he watched in shocked horror as the man launched himself off the side of the bridge. He closed his eyes and winced- waiting for the knowing sound of breaking bones and death, but none came. His eyes opened and he gaped as he saw the man get to his feet and continue running down the road.

"Holy frick on a stick with a brick."

Now, Dorian was famous for being determined. After being picked on for most of his teenage life he would do most anything to prove himself. So he really didn't want to give up the chase. He watched as a open-topped bus came towards the bottom of the bridge and beamed as an idea popped into his head. As soon as the bus was close enough he leaped on it- none too gracefully.

He screamed as he plummeted into the bus and landed on top of a man. "It's raining men, hallelujah," he sang- not able to resist. The other man didn't seem to find it as funny. "Oh come on. That was a classic considering the circumstances. Next time I'll land on someone else's lap." He scrambled to his feet. He stumbled down the stairs and threw himself out of the bus and onto the road.

"See. Totally Ninja. And for my next trick.." John spotted a truck going in the same direction as the runner and ran at it- making to grab at a the back. Surprisingly he actually managed to grab it. He allowed himself a small victory dance and hoped that the driver hadn't notice. Not that it would really matter- he was the law be-atch.

The truck quickly caught up to the criminal and when Jonathan spotted him he immediately let go of the trucks side and ran at the man. Using all his strength and the momentum of jumping off a moving truck he knocked the man over. Unfortunately in doing so- he knocked himself over also. He quickly scrambled to his knees and straddled the man's waist. A small annoying part of his brain wondered just how bad this would look to passers by, but with a quick shrug he figured that it was New York- crazier stuff happens daily.

Grabbing the badge around his neck, he shoved it almost right into the man's eyes, "See this? N.Y.P.D. So in your face. Not so fast now are you Mr fast runner." The fairly average man that Dorian was sitting on looked exactly that- very average. Not exactly criminal material with his blue eyes, brown hair and stripy jumper. He was kinda cute really. Had it been any other time John might have...

"He's coming!" The man panted and somehow managed to shout.

"Yeah- well I'm going to hope he doesn't do bridge jumping cause I'll play chases with him too." John's eyes widened as the man brought out a weapon that he vaguely thought looked like a cross between a pistol and one of the head massagers- you know the type, the ones with the metal leg thingys. It made a strange beeping noises as, Jonathan assumed, the man got it prepared to shot him. Awesome gun or not- John didn't want shot by it so he clawed at the hand holding it and after a few minutes off fumbling slapped it out of the man's hands. It smashed to the ground and burst into flames.

"That was uncalled for!" John was then thrown off the man with a sudden burst of strength that seemed to come out of nowhere. The criminal got to his feet and sprinted across the road and into a large building. Dorian took longer to get to his feet but he did it and he was pleasantly surprised that he still could after punishing his body for the past few minutes. John ran across the road after the man and almost got hit by, not one, but two taxis. 'Typical,' the young police officer thought to himself, 'you never see a taxi when you need one but then two come along at once.' He got to the building where he saw the man run to and paused in puzzlement. Where the hell had he gone? John jumped and shrieked like a girl as a figure bounced up from in front of him and landed quite high on the wall of the building.

"What the..." John pointed his gun and felt his mouth drop open as he realised it was the criminal he had been chasing. What he had just done there had definitely defied the laws of both human biology and physics. Perhaps the man was Jedi?

Dorian allowed himself another few shocked glances as the man started to climb up the building in a spider-man fashion, before running to the doors of the building. Without thinking about it he took his pistol from his belt and took a shot at the door's glass windows. Normally he was a total pacifist, but he didn't feel too bad shooting at a door. The glass shattered and allowed him to get through the frame. As he was climbing through he felt the door move a bit and he realised with deep embarrassment that the door hadn't even been locked- he had just needlessly shot the glass out. Mentally giving himself a slap he ran up the thousands of stairs leading to the roof. The adrenaline had fully kicked in so he wasn't surprised that he didn't feel very tired at all. In fact he was running faster than he ever had before at that moment in time.

He reached the door to the roof, but before he had a chance to open it the door handle jiggled. The man was at the other side. He raised his gun in preparation for the door opening.

"Boo."

The man backed up towards the edge of the roof, "He's coming. He's coming because I failed and he's gonna kill me."

John snorted, "Well you don't seem to be very popular today."

The man smirked evilly and it made Dorian lower his weapon for a moment in shock, "You don't understand. Your world's going to end," and with that the man blinked and John shrieked. Not because he had a phobia of blinking or anything-how daft would that be after all- but because the man's eyes closed horizontally. A second set of eye lids appeared out of nowhere.

"What the frick are you! That was just nasty!"

The man again flashed a smirk at John and started to continue to move backwards towards the edge of the roof.

"What that ledge," the man didn't stop, "No. Seriously."

The man stood at the edge and spread his arms out. "No. Please. We can fix your eyes, I know a dynamite doctor." John pleaded with the apparently suicidal man. It was all for nought however as before John had a chance to do anything- he had gracefully dropped off the edge of the building and onto the pavement below. The only sound he heard was a thump and a shriek that sounded vaguely like a dinosaur.

TBC. Throw me a review so I can know if people want me to continue.


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own Scrubs or Our Best, Last and Only line of Defence

_I know I'm good for something, I just haven't found it yet_

Elliot Reid regretted many things in her life. Mostly that she had married a complete arsehole just so that she could escape her parents. Her father had meant well, but he had expected way too much from her. Her mom on the other hand- she was definitely missing quite a few screws. Elliot almost laughed at her thought- screws had definitely been bad word choice. She had met Edgar at her high school. He was the class idiot and she had immediately clung onto him due to his low standards. Everyone else knew that Elliot Reid, with her blond hair, blue eyes and womanly figure, was gorgeous- she could have her pick at guys- unfortunately she didn't get that. Her confidence had been ripped apart at childhood so she was now stuck- after leaving high school- married to Edgar in a old, decaying wooden house in a field in the middle of nowhere.

"I work my butt off to make a living," Elliot rolled her eyes as Edgar began yet another lecture that would end up inevitably ripping her to shreds, "All I want is to come home to a fat steak on the table, but instead I get this. It looks like poison." Edgar gestured towards the chicken that Elliot had spent hours preparing and threw away his knife and fork. Edgar was fat, blond and just a mess in general. Elliot sighed and tried to pick up his plate only for Edgar to snatch it back.

"Don't take that away! I'm eating that! It is poison, isn't it? I swear to God I wouldn't be surprised." He grumbled as he began eating with his fingers.

'I wouldn't be surprised either' Elliot thought miserably to herself. She wished she could just poison him one night.

"You just skulk like a dog been hit too much, or not enough! I can't decide," Elliot could actually mouth the next words along with him she had heard them so much, "You're useless Elliot. The only thing that pulls its weight around here is my goddamn truck!"

What happened next however was totally unexpected. A flash of shining orange passed by their window and a second later an almighty crashed signalled something crash landing down to the Earth. She jumped to her feet- preparing to go outside and look but Edgar motioned for her to sit back down. Even though he was mentally abusive, he did actually care for his wife's safety.

After snatching up his shotgun, Edgar pulled open the rusty old door and it made a dull creaking sound- a metaphor of their lives. He slowly went outside and sighed at the scene in front of him.

"Figures." His truck was now a ball of flames. If he was smart enough to understand the concept of irony properly he might have laughed or at least considered being nicer to Elliot in the future- instead he made his way over to a ditch in the ground. The landing place of the thing that had destroyed his beloved truck.

"What the frick is that Edgar!" Elliots high-pitched voice grated on her husbands already frazzled nerves. He had told her to stay in the house and as his wife she should obey him. Especially when her life could possibly be endangered.

"Get your big butt back in the house." She grumbled and went back into the house- slamming the door behind her. He didn't really care that he had upset her- he wandered off to the ditch where the truck and fire ball had been.

"Place projectile weapon on the ground." Edgar jumped as a mono-tone almost computerized voice came from down in the ditch. It kinda sounded like one of those guys in the movies. The green ones. He just couldn't remember what they were called... Regardless of who they were, they weren't getting his gun. They had taken his truck- they were not getting anywhere near his gun.

"You can have my gun..," he cocked the gun and pointed it down into the ditch, "..when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers."

The monotone voice responded, "Your proposal is acceptable." Now at first this confused Edgar. He already had a wife- he didn't ask nobody else to marry him. He didn't have long to ponder however, as a long, brown arm stuck out from the ditch and pulled him in. He felt pure agony and even he knew he was going to die.

From inside the kitchen Elliot was sure she could hear someone screaming. At first she thought it was Edgar but he had his gun. Besides- if he died...

She heard someone approaching the front door and looked up. Edgar. She watched stunned as Edgar first walked into the door, then grunted and pulled it open. When she got a good look at him she immediately realised that something was not right. She stood to question him- all the while gazing at his slightly deformed face.

"Edgar. What the hell was that?"

"Sugar." Even his voice didn't sound right she realised. It was higher and a bit more- alien? And what the hell did he mean by sugar.

"Uh Edgar. I've seen a lot of sugar, but I've never seen sugar blow up a fricking truck like that!" Her voice steadily went higher as she went on but Edgar didn't say a word. Which in it's self was odd.

"Give me sugar."

Puzzled, Elliot handed him the sugar bowl. He just looked at it, "In water." His wife then picked up a glass of water and poured a teaspoon of sugar into it. She was seriously getting freaked out. She tried to hand him the glass but he just stared at it, "More."

She picked up the sugar bowl and poured some in. Edgar kept gesturing for her to keeping pouring so she thought sod it and just dumped the whole lot in. Elliot expected him to be angry that she had done this but instead he just took the glass from her and drunk the whole lot. It was as he was drinking that Elliot noticed what was wrong with her husband.

"Edgar. Your skin is hanging off your bones sweetie." She motioned towards their mirror, her hands shaking.

"Oh. Yeah."

Elliot shrieked as Edgar reached up and pulled his skin until it stretched grotesquely over his face. "There. Is that better?" Edgar asked still keeping the position. Elliot did the only thing she could think of doing and fainted. The world turned black and she knew that she would probably not wake for a long time. A very long time if she were lucky.

* * *

><p>"The perpetrator then blinked two sets of eyelids? You mean blinked with both eyes right?"<p>

John glowered at his chief. This debrief had been going on for hours and now it just seemed as if they were humouring him. He was the only one who actually did any work around there and they had the audacity to think him crazy? Well then, maybe he was crazy. For working there.

"No Sir. He blinked one set of eyelids and then a completely different set," John stated in an angry, inpatient tone that was really uncharacteristic of the usually happy police officer. He sat legs crossed in a fairly flamboyant angry way, but he didn't care. He was always a bit of a drama queen.

"You know, like high beams and low beams," the fat police officer leaning on the wall watching the proceedings make a wise crack. Dorian turned to glare at him- he wasn't even sure of his name but just looking at him he knew him to be one of 'doughnuts brigade'.

"Was that before or after he drew the weapon that you claim evaporated into a million pieces?" John could actually feel the sarcasm drip off his boss in waves. He sighed pitifully and put one hand to his forehead.

"After, sir," he stated wearily.

His boss stood looking at him for a moment, his dark skin creasing as the man frowned and his bald head shining under the single light. "Why is it that no other officers saw either of these events?"

Seeing as he knew he was in trouble already John allowed himself to go for broke, "Well sir, my colleagues are all slightly ballooned shaped. No offence Mr Blooby," he nodded at the angry looking police officer still leaning on the wall, "I on the other hand are ninja. They just couldn't keep up with me. I'm kick-ass."

"Dorian. If you were half the man I am..."

John had to stop himself from giggling as he stated, "Drew. I am half the man that you are. So in your face!"

"What the hell is your problem?" Drew, the 'leaning police officer' finally moved his ass to stand threateningly in front of his young colleague. John put his hands in his ears "La la la. I can't hear you."

Drew actually went to hit his tormentor when the shocked chief eventually came out of his stupor. "Sergeant I want to talk to you. Outside. Now!" Drew begrudgingly moved and John removed his hands from his ears and watched as the two left the room. Great. Now everyone thought he was crazy.

John had never been popular in high school either. Always slightly nerdy. He always slipped off into daydreams at random moments and he always wanted to be called JD instead of plain and boring John. No one ever called him JD.

From his sad reverie he heard footstep come from behind him. He turned to see a black man, with no hair and a small moustache- he actually looked pretty cool and friendly John reckoned- walk towards him. He was wearing green scrubs which looked a little odd in the Police Department.

"Hey. I believe you man. Christopher Turk," the man stuck out a hand with John gripped with a small smile, "Deputy Medical Examiner. I bet your wondering why I wear these scrubs right?"

John nodded, "Yeah, I was actually. They look pretty cool though."

"Exactly." Turk then high-fived his new friend, "So anyway, find me at the morgue. I'll show you. Later man." With that, his new nigro amigo left the room without a second glance.

After being left alone yet again John turned back to the staring at the desk glumly. He had a feeling that he was going to get fired so really it wasn't as if he could actually meet Turk.

He could hear Turk talking to someone. A man. He couldn't quite catch what they were saying however. Suddenly a bright light flashed from behind him and he turned to see another man walking into the his interrogation room. The first thing he noticed was the awesome black suit and shades. Then the rusty coloured, curly hair. Finally he noticed that the man was actually rather hot- not that he was ever going to say that out-loud. The suited man was slightly taller than him and was had a much fuller figure. He could imagine if he hugged the man he would be totally swamped with limbs... great now he craved a hug of a stranger.

The man closed the door and released a large breath. When the suited man removed his shades he was treated to bright ice blue eyes.

"Some night, huh kid?" John was shocked to the the man immediately go over to the security camera in the corner of the interrogation room and unplug it from the wall. It was in this moment that he realised this man was going to be a whole lot of trouble in more than one way.

"Uh..yeah. Some night alright."

"They were gills, Newbie, not eyelids." The first thing that puzzled John wasn't even the mention of gills. It was the newbie. He had been at the NYPD for a few years now, how the hell was he still a newbie? As if sensing that the man in front of him was thinking, the agent rolled his eyes, "The man had gills, not a time to be thinking about nicknames there kid. He had gills. He was out of breath."

The man in black had been actually quite surprised when he walked into the room to find a young man- girly looking man; dark brown styled hair, toned but quite lanky and pale skin and full lips- he didn't really look like he could catch a bus never mind an alien on foot. Still, the kid was kinda cut- no. He did nawt just think that. He wasn't going through it again. Ever.

John stared at the stranger, "Sorry. But who the hell are you?"

The man turned and looked into John's eyes and John felt his heart race, "Did he saying anything to you?"

The stunned police officer nodded his head. The stranger groaned, "What are you not getting about this Lillian? What did he tell you?"

"Oh," John flushed with embarrassment, "He said the world is coming to a end." It felt nice though to have his words been taken seriously. At least this guy had ridiculed him for his story- at least not yet anyway. The strangers next words only clarified his theory that the man believed him- maybe he was a part of the FBI?

"Did he say when?"

John just stared at the man in answer. Of all the questions he had expected that one had definitely not been a part of the top fifty in his list. The stranger did not snap at him this time and actually look quite sympathetically towards him.

"Would you recognize his weapon if you saw it again?" The man asked in his velvety yet unique voice- and was that a trace of an Irish accent?

"Head massager," John didn't even think before answering and again flushed but the man actually gave him a small grin instead of the snipe that seemed to be a large part of his character.

"Come on, let's take a ride," the stranger directed him out of the interrogation room and John went with him without hesitation. A small part of him did however wonder what his boss would think. It was then that he remembered.

"Wait a minute. Look, I've got tons of paperwork and I'm already in a whole lot of tr-"

"Jeez newbie. Do you never shut up? Your paperwork? It's all done kid," the man opened the door and his boss gave him a smile and a thumbs up as he walked past carrying a folder that looked like the paperwork that John was sure that he was doomed to do. "You really ran that guy down on foot? That's tough kid, that's double tough." The man patted Dorian on the arm and John beamed but tried not to let the super cool agent man see.

The man lead him out of the building and into a black Porsche, "Now, I'm going to allow you to sit in the front today Newbie. Don't always expect it." John just nodded in return wondering how the hell his night had gone so whack. They sat in an awkward silence as the man who had still not revealed his name or anything actually- drove them to where ever they were going.

"So who exactly are you with?" John asked his silent driver timidly. "FBI? NSA?"

The man sighed as if he knew that John wasn't going to believe his answer, "I'm part of a bureau that licences, monitors and polices alien activity on Earth."

Dorian rolled his eyes, actually annoyed at the man for the first time, "Sure. And I really am part ninja."

"Don't get smart Dorian, it doesn't suit you. We're here"

The ex-police officer got out of the car and looked at the familiar 'shop' in front of him. The street was empty and there were no secret entrances as far as he could see. Maybe this was all a joke?

"But this is Doug's spot. We call him Nervous Guy down at the station. He buys from chain-snatchers. Doesn't sell guns."

"Really?" The man asked in an almost bored tone.

"Uh yeah. Look I'll go in there and prove it to you and if I do, I want serious answers if you wouldn't mind."

The man sighed and folded his arms, "On you go then newbie. 'Prove it to me'."

John Dorian walked up to the door went inside of the dirty shop he had come to know well. He saw Doug- Nervous guy- fiddling with some stolen Rolexes and rolled his eyes. Doug. Doug. Doug. When would he ever learn.

"O-officer Dorian!" Nervous Guy tried to throw the Rolexes of the desk but he seemed to have bother so he gave up and tried to look confusedly at them. "How did t-these get here? I-I thought I turned them in."

"From what I hear, Doug, you're selling more than Rolexes and other dodgy crap."

"Well yeah, you know I sell crack Officer Dorian, but.. I s-still work here. Great hours."

John froze, "Doug. Did you honestly just admit to a police officer that you sell crack."

Doug also froze, "Yes..No? I don't know- just don't hurt me!"

The police officer just shook his head, his blue eyes reflecting how he felt kinda sorry for Doug, "I'm here about guns Doug. Ones that look like head massagers."

"Come on! W-what you see is what I got Officer Dorian."

A tingling bell signalled the entrance of the stranger and John found he was oddly happy to see him.

"Why don't you show him the imports Nervous Guy?" The stranger returned Johns puzzled look with a glare, "It's a fitting nickname Newbie, I like it so I'll use it."

Indirect praise. John felt his insides go all fluffy, even if it was just for getting complimented on creating an amusing nickname.

"Hey P. How are you?" John couldn't help sniggering a little bit at his strangers name, the man shot him a glare and he shut up but all in all John felt it was fair to laugh- the guy was called 'Pee' after all.

"Show him the imports right now." The man, "Pe- er "P", sternly said to the now shaking Doug.

"I g-got out of that business a long time ago..."

"Don't lie to me jackass. I'm not some ass-hole who will take that crap. In fact I'll grab it from you and feed it back to a place where the sun doesn't shine."

"N-n-now hold on a second."

P raised a gun to Doug's head threateningly, "I am going to count to three Nervous Guy."

John watched in horror as P counted and Doug pleaded for the next three seconds. Then before he could do anything P sighed and shot from his really weird looking gun- it reminded John from something from a sci-fi movie. Doug's head exploded in a sea of green and John recoiled and gagged before pointing his own pistol at P.

"What the hell did you do!"

"Calm down Dorian." P said in a low voice that made John wonder if he was actually saying it for his benefit rather than his own. John just stared at P in shock- wondering what the hell was going on and what the hell he had been brought into it. It came as a large shock when he heard a squeeky voice come from where Doug used to be standing.

"You i-i-insensitive jerk!"

John turned with wide eyes to see Doug's head slowly re-growing. He felt his stomach drop and genuine nausea actually made his eyes water. The image seem to swim in front of his eyes and for a terrible moment John feared that he might actually faint.

"Do you have any idea how much that stings?" Doug stated as his head was completed- all be it covered in some sort of blue slime that John was assuming was blood.

"Show us the merchandise or you are going to lose another head idiot." P seemed a hell of a lot more together than John was and he wondered if maybe this was a completely normal thing for P to witness. Doug stared at P for a moment, expression totally blank, before pressing a button that lay underneath a part of his desk.

The shop filled with a low buzzing noise and John watched absolutely floored as the displays filled round to display completely different items to the ones before. Instead of cheap looking pictures and tacky singing fish novelty items, futuristic and alien looking guns filled John's vision. There were thousands of them and every single one looked both awesome and terrifying. Some didn't even look like guns at all, but rather pens and batteries. John knew them to be some sort of weapon however.

"Mr Dorian." It was the first time that P had referred to him as such and John found himself almost missing the 'newbie' and the odd girl names that he hadn't really registered before now. John scanned the store- using his police training to search out the weapon he had seen the man attempt to use earlier on during the night- when his life had been changed around. It wasn't long before John spotted the head mas- the weapon.

"There, the one in the middle," he pointed at the weapon and P nodded and turned to glare at the even more nervous looking Doug.

"You sold a reverberating carbonizer with mutate capacity to an unlicensed cephaloid! You piece of shit! God how the hell do you get up in the mornings- what kind of idiot does a thing like that! Well you obviously and I have to hand it to you Dougie boy, you're a unique brand of idiot!"

"He um, he looked okay to m-me."

P growled, "It must have been an assassination attempt. Who was the target!"

"I-I don't know!"

"Goddamn it!" P pointed his gun at Doug once again, but point blank this time as John watched on totally flummoxed as to what was going on anymore. And for the more, what the hell was a reverberating carbon-whatser?

"I don't know!" Doug positively squealed.

P sighed and lowered his gun, "Alright. That's confiscated," he gestured around the store, "Be on the next transport off this rock or I shoot where it don't grow back, but mind you that would be doing the universe a favour."

John blinked and watched P leave the store. He really felt that he should have some cool parting words to say to Doug, but his brain was just too messed up to think of any. He almost tripped over getting out of the store- but that was normal, he was a clumsy gymnast- but he was glad to get out. The air was cool and John breathed it in as if it were lung nectar. He stood up straight and just stared out down the street. At his side he felt P's large presence and this was small comfort to him as he tried to get a grip on a fact that his whole view on the world had changed. Aliens were real and living among us.

"Searching for a handle on the moment?" John could only nod in return as the cool air enveloped him. "I can't help you." P reached into his suit pocket and pulled out his shades he has been wearing earlier. "The only comfort I can offer is my promise that tomorrow you won't remember a thing."

The younger man turned to stare at P incredulously, "That's not the type of thing you just forget. It's like meeting a unicorn. I would never forget meeting a unicorn."

"Ever seen one of these John?" Dorian was so startled at the use of his name he didn't look away when P thrust a weird metal pen thing in front of his eyes. A bright light flashed and John Dorian knew no more.

* * *

><p>Perry sat the young man at a table and began laughing as John came back to himself.<p>

"So I said, that's not the she-devil, that's my ex-wife"

With a grin he saw the focus come back slowly into Dorian's eyes as he tried remember where the hell he was. The kid was smart. He would give him that. And if P wanted any idiot working for him, he decided he wanted this idiot. The kid would do. The final test however, was whether he would turn up to the address he would give him- tomorrow.

"Did you get it? Ex wife..." P kept laughing to keep the illusion and well he was genuinely laughing at the bemused expression on his future partners face. To his defence John did try to attempt to act the part of 'yeah, I totally know where I am' but that just made the whole thing funnier to Perry. A small part of his brain found the whole act rather endearing but he ignored it for now. He looked at his watch needlessly, "Oh. Gotta go. Thanks for the egg rolls kid."

"No..w-wait a minute," John stopped his act, "Do I know you?" Perry was surprised to see a small glint of recognition in the younger man's eyes.

"You see what I mean about appletinis. There not only a girly drink but they mess with your head. You're a very young man, John, but you need to lay off the drink. I'll see you bright and early, 9 o'clock."

He held out a white card to John, "Be there or be a jackass." Perry left the restaurant hoping the man would come tomorrow.

John on the other hand sat stunned. What the hell... Had that been a date? If so he regretted missing it. How many appletinis had he drunk to get so messed up?

He looked at the small white card in his hands.

**MIB  
>504 BATTERY DRIVE<strong>

* * *

><p>TBC<p>

R&R If you could. Thanks very much to Neversaid-I-madesense, FlowerPetalsToTheWind and Super Vanilla Bear for reviewing. This chapter was dedicated to you three. I won't be able to update until the weekend probably. I have exams.


	3. Chapter 3

I won't even comment on my lack of writing- my profile contains my lame ass excuses for all to laugh at. I am sorry.

I do not own Scrubs or Men In Black- I have heard that there will be a sequel to the sequel for the latter though- ain't that cool.

_Can we pretend that aeroplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now._

Michael was a bit of freak- even he could admit that. Not many children aspired to be insect exterminators, but he was quite content with the job now that he had reached a rather lonely adult-hood. He hummed to himself absent-mindedly as his green truck, wearing the words 'Zap Em', crackled down a dusty road to a worn looking barn.

As the truck rolled to a stop he sighed and began to dawn his strangely cool looking equipment. It almost looked as if he were a kick-ass Ghostbuster- Bill Murray would be so proud. The barn door opened with a loud creak and Ross was both intrigued and horrified to see the worst infestation of cockroaches he had even encountered through-out his long career.

"Well, well, well," Michael said to the nasty little insects, "Moving right in, are we you little shits? Sorry guys- I have an eviction notice for you."

Michael jumped as the barn door once again creaked. The startled man pointed his 'spray dispenser' as if that would somehow help him if he were attacked. He let out a relived sigh as he saw the owner of the barn stumble in- he looked a little different from what he remembered however.

"Just what exactly do you think you're doing here!" Michael was slightly surprised and anxious to hear the anger in Edgar's voice as he came stumbling towards him. Something was definitely up.

"Taking care of your pest problem, sir." The slightly worried man tried to explain.

"Pest problem!" Edgar snapped right back at him in response. Michael nervously nodded. "Pest!"

The exterminator anxiety was rising as the unexplainabley angry man stumbled closer still towards him. "Yeah, you got a hell of an infestation."

"You know, I've noticed an infestation here." 'Finally,' Michael thought to himself. They finally seemed to be getting somewhere. "Everywhere I look in fact, nothing but undeveloped, unevolved barely conscious pond scum totally convinced of their own superiority," Edgar was slowly backing Michael into a corner, "...as they scurry about their short, pointless lives."

Michael swallowed and looked up at the frightening man how had him well and truly stuck. "Well uh, yeah. Don't you wanna get rid of them?" He was relived to see Edgar smile in response and back off a tad.

"In the worst way." Edgar said with a grim smile.

Michael almost smiled back until Edgar reached out a threw his hands around his neck- cutting off his air supply. He saw Edgar reach for his gas machine, felt a piercing pain in his neck and his world descended into darkness.

* * *

><p>Jonathan strolled up to the large brown door he was stood in front of with an air of confidence he wasn't really feeling. The NYPD officer was not really sure as to why he felt like he should go to the address written on the card given to him by the mysterious man. Well he did really, he was insatiably curious and he wanted to see the guy again... But that was besides the point- for all he knew he could be getting experimented on within a few minutes.<p>

He wore loose jeans and an orange jumper- his most unflattering outfit as he thought that may make them less inclined to experiment on him if that's what they were indeed up-to. Surely the government wouldn't experiment on people with a lack of fashion sense?

John pulled the door open and walked into a small room with a gigantic fan and a strange logo printed onto the floor. Only one other person was there- a black security guard, reading a newspaper. The man lazily turned away from his newspaper as John strode into the room.

"Can I help you?" The surprisingly high-pitched voice asked him.

"Uh yeah. This dude gave me this card," John pulled the card from his pocket and flashed it at the man still holding the newspaper.

"Elevator." The man dismissed him with a hand gesture towards the elevator.

John felt this rather rude, but did not say a word as he walked towards the elevator that had apparently appeared out of nowhere. The doors opened and John walked into a plain silver elevator. It was then that he was met with a dilemma. The elevator had doors at either side- how was he to know what side the doors would open at? He would look pretty stupid if the doors opened to revel him facing the wrong direction. John reached out and pressed the only button he could find, which was next to the door he had entered, so he faced the door next to the button.

The lift sprang to life and began to move- John assumed it was going down as he really couldn't tell from the movement of it. It was strangely disorientating not having the number of floor passed appearing on a screen above the door. He didn't even notice when the lift pulled to a stop.

"You're late. Sit down" A loud voice came from behind him.

Jonathan let out a girly shriek and spun around, "Frick. I knew I would end up facing the wrong side."

The grey-haired man in a black suit merely raised a brow at his reaction. John blushed- he could tell the man was probably the leader of whatever the organisation was. The man motioned towards the one non taken chairs for John to sit on. John almost couldn't stop the giggle that tried to force it's way out as he saw the chairs. They were almost identical looking to eggs. Each other one was filled with men wearing uniforms. All very serious looking and handsome and Jonathan realised with an embarrassed pang how under-dressed he was in comparison.

The room was a startling white and besides from the nine chairs the only other furniture was a circular white table in the centre of the room. There were weird circular patterns on the floor and ceiling that only added to the strangeness of the room. Jonathan naturally thought it was all freaking awesome.

"My name is K," the leader-man explained. John personally thought he looked more like a Bob or a Robert. "You're all here because you are the best of the best."

Not a hard-feat to be best of the NYPD, John thought to himself, he was the only officer fully capable of moving. He was pulled from his thoughts as K continued.

"Marines, Air Force, Navy SEALs, Army Rangers, NYPD." K finished with a nod in John's direction. The NYPD officer felt smug to be the only one to get a nod but he hoped it didn't show in his expression.

"We want one of you. Just one." K continued to explain in his monotone voice, "What will follow is a series of simple tests for motor skills, concentration and stamina."

John frowned. Nothing had been explained at all. They actually expected them to just go along with all of this without any explanation? No of the others seemed to bothered and that severely surprised him. He raised his hand and all eyes in the room turned towards him.

"I see we have a question."

"I'm sorry," John lowered his hand as he spoke, "Maybe you already explained this but why exactly are we here?"

The NYPD officer was immediately embarrassed to see one of the uniformed men throw their hand up. Perhaps they had been told already and he had been in a daydream and not realised it.

"Son." K granted the man permission to answer. The man stood up and saluted and John was pretty

taken aback. Damn military.

"Second Lieutenant Jensen. West Point graduate with honours. We're here because you are looking for the best of the best of the best, sir!" Jensen answered in clinical military tones. Show off, was Johns first thought, his second was just an inward laugh. That explained bugger all. The man looked at him as if he wanted to stick his tongue out and sat down. How mature.

John couldn't help his laugh from bursting out in reaction to all of that and K turned to look at him.

"What's so funny, Dorian?"

"Mr Action Man, here." John wanted to stop laughing but he couldn't. "'The best of the best of the best, sir!' With honours." The officer was pretty sure he saw a slight smirk grace K's features but it was quickly hidden away. "He's just so excited and he has no clue as to why we're here. That's just absolutely freaking bizarre to me and in turn fricking hilarious."

K turned towards a small window and saw P looking at John with a mixture of amusmant, frustration and pride. He raised a brow at his agent and P looked winked back at him. K turned back to the men sitting in front of him all glaring at John. "Okay, let's get going."

K left the room and John watched as all the men reached behind them and grabbed a booklet and a pencil. John felt left out of the loop as they all seemed to know what was going on. He too, reached behind him and felt for the paper and a pencil. It turned out he had sat right on top of the two and hadn't noticed. The first page was full of simple mathematical problems. John had done well in High School and he had never really minded tests so he wasn't too worried. Well he wasn't until he tried to open to the booklet only to hear an ominous tearing sound.

John gulped and looked up to see the others engrossed on the first page of their booklet- good they hadn't seen his faux pas. He had to get the booklet open somehow but he was not desperate enough to ask one of the snobby uniformed men for help. They all obvious thought he was well beneath them. Getting an idea, he tried to pry his booklet open using his pencil. Unfortunately he bent the pencil a little too hard and it broke in two halves with a loud 'crack'.

His face was warm with the heat of his blush as John reached down to pick up the two halves of his pencil- unaware of the man chuckling at his antics behind a glass window. He tried to stick them back together using the willpower of his mind, only for it to predictably fail. John sighed and dumped half of his pencil behind him and resigned himself to using a midget pencil.

"S'why they should have given us an extra one- or even better- pens." He mumbled to himself.

John looked up to see the men all struggle to write on their sheets of paper. Some balanced it precariously on their laps while others let gaping holes on the page from when the pencil had poked through. One man was even trying to use the side off the egg chair he was on to lean against. It was all rather ridiculous and reminded John of a 'Carry On' film.

It was then he saw it. The table. He heaved himself out of his egg and grabbed an edge of the table. It refused to budge- at all. He felt the eyes of all the others gazing at him as if here were insane. He sighed, went back to his chair, grabbed his pencil and booklet and went back to the table. He placed the booklet on the table and resigned himself to kneeling on the floor. John smiled- that was a lot better.

He looked up to the the men still staring at him in disbelief. Had he done something wrong?

"Um. Do you want to get down on this? Cause I really don't mind sharing." John asked the man closest to him- who again just stared in disbelief in return. The NYPD agent rolled his eyes. Just like high-school and the Police Department, he was the freaky outcast again. Unlucky for him that he did not see the approving gaze of the man that would soon be his mentor from behind the glass he had not noticed.

* * *

><p>'BUZZ'<p>

John reached for one of the guns perfectly placed in a pattern on the table. The doors in front of him and the others opened to reveal an elaborate city scene with scary looking aliens and some civilian put in. They were all drawn in a comic book-esque way and John regretted that he didn't have the time to fully appreciate it.

Lights were flashing and he could see out of the corner of his eye, the men surrounding him dive into a position and immediately start shooting at the monsters.

But why? John thought to himself. It was probably just him but none of the drawn monsters seemed to be doing anything wrong. One that he had originally contemplated shooting at who was dangling from a lamp-post seemed just to be exercising. Another- simply sneezing. It was then that he saw her. The most dangerous looking thing in the room. He hesitated, but he then heard the sounds die down- so he assumed the test was coming to an end. He quickly shot at her and one other thing he had seen before K strolled into the room and the lights came fully on.

"Dorian, what the hell happened?"

Shit, John thought to himself as he turned to meet K. Maybe his reasoning was wrong and he had been a total arse of himself. The uniformed men all turned towards him and smirked at him in a condescending fashion.

"Sorry, I um hesitated."

K brought out a little remote from within his pocket and pointed it towards the city scene in front of them, "May I ask why you felt little Kim deserved to die?" The little girl that John had shot on the head with perfect accuracy was brought to the front of the scene.

"She was the only one that seemed dangerous," John defended himself.

"How do you figure that sport?"

"Well first I was going to get that guy hanging from the lamp-post, but when I really looked at him it seemed he was just working out or something like that. I do yoga and I would be so annoyed if someone decided to shoot me while I was doing that. Then I saw this snarling monster but then I noticed he had a tissue in hand and I thought, oh he's just sneezing no worries there then. Then I saw Kim," John gestured towards the girl, "Young girl, out in the middle of the night by herself surrounded by a bunch of monsters and carrying advanced Quantum Physics books? I don't think so. She was about to start some shit- she looks about eight years old so those books would be way too fricking advanced for her. She's up to something."

K raised a brow and studied him and but John was pretty sure he reasoning sounded good.

"I know it looks odd, but I did see this movie where it turned out the little girl where was the one killing all the people in the haunted house. True be it that she had just been possessed by some creepy ghost dude. I couldn't stay in my room with the lights off for weeks after that one. God- it was a good film though." K just looked perplexed now and John kept his mouth shut. Darn his big mouth of doom. "Or do I owe Kim an apology?" K didn't respond and instead left the room- leaving the men to stare at John instead.

P watched as Jonathan walked up to the little girl and examined his shot. He sensed rather than saw K approach him from behind.

"He's a bit of a weird one, that kid."

P smirked, "You have to be to work here Bobbo. But this kid ran down a cephalopoid on foot, boss. He is more than tough enough even if he is a bit girly."

K looked down at the young man who had now moved onto examining the monsters and the other men who were talking amongst themselves. "I hate to agree with you P, no I really do, but if you think this kid's good enough- we'll give him a shot."

The leader mad his way back down into the room, all he had to do now was erase some memories.

"Gentlemen, congratulations. You're everything we've come to expect from years of government training. If you'll just follow me, we have one more test to administer. An eye exam."

John was still examining the cartoons when K came into the room, so he was left behind by a few seconds when everyone else placed their guns on the table and left the room behind K. He jogged over and went to follow the group when he was dragged to the side by the hot man from the other night.

He was again wearing a black suit, but this time he carried a folder. He had been leaning against the wall in a casual pose that John would have drooled over have he had the chance to see it properly.

"Where are you going Newbie?" The older man grinned at younger man who looked a bit stunned to see him again. The name 'Newbie' brought forth a feeling of deja vu for John. He had a feeling that his confusion from the night before hadn't been as random as he had thought.

"What is all this?" John didn't bother ask 'Who are you?' as he felt like he already knew the man and it felt wrong to have to ask again, besides he figured he would find out who he was in time. At least he really hoped so.

"In the 1950s, the government started an underfunded agency with the laughable purpose of establishing contact with a race not of this planet," the red haired man explained as they walked down a grey corridor with large circular light fixtures on the roof. They walked past a room and John saw the uniformed men look into a device for the 'eye exam'. He wondered why he was not a part of it but decided he would rather walk with the man anyway.

The man handed him the folder, "Everyone thought the agency was a joke, except the aliens who made contact on March 2nd, 1961 outside New York." John opened the folder to see a picture of a tall 'cliché' alien. The photograph was in black and white but John was positive it would have been

green.

"There were seven there that first night. Six agents and an astronomer." The man continued to explain as if this were all normal. John opened a different page to reveal one of the agents giving the alien a bouquet.

"Aw, you guys gave the alien some flowers? That's just adorable!" John couldn't help himself but say. He wasn't sure if he bought it all, but it was still a cute image.

The man raised a brow at him, "Shut up Shelia."

"Shelia?"

"It's a girls name. Cause you're a little girl. Get used to it, Newbie. This way." The man gestured around a corner to a corridor that looked the exact same as the one they had just walked down."

"What do I call you?"

"Agent P. It's not difficult Sandra. Anyway, they were a group of intergalactic refugees. They wanted to use Earth as an apolitical zone for creatures without a planet. You ever seen Casablanca, Newbie?"

"Yep."

"Same thing, except no Nazis."

"Cool."

"We agreed and concealed all evidence of their landing."

John opened the next page to reveal pictures of the infamous 1960s World's Fair, "So these are real flying saucers and the World's Fair was a cover-up?"

"Well yeah Newbie. Why else would they have held it in Queens? More non-humans arrive every year and live among us in secret"

John closed the booklet and stared in disbelief at the man who was trying to turn his world upside down, it wasn't that he didn't believe him really, more than he wanted to disbelieve him.

"Sorry, but how the hell did they hide all of this and why the fudge did you think I would believe all that? "

P sighed and took the booklet back, "Alright Newbie, I'm getting some coffee. I wouldn't normal ask this and if you tell anyone you're dead, but do you want some?"

Jonathan shrugged and P pushed open the door they had come to a stop in front of to reveal a normal-ish looking kitchen. Well it looked normal, until John saw the weird creatures by the coffee machine. They looked like giant grasshoppers but had the body shape of meerkats. All three of them were laughing in their high-pitched but obviously male voices.

"Hey guys." P drawled while walking up to the machine and pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"Hi P," all three answered in unison.

"It's not decaf is it?" P said before he took a sip.

"Viennese cinnamon." One of the 'aliens' answered. John stood there watching the scene looking like a deer in headlights.

"Don't tell me we only have that powdered shit for cream. I hate that stuff. You guys getting along alright?" P asked the now smoking aliens. They all made noises of affirmation and P smirked at them before he left the room.

"Sure you don't want some coffee there Audrey?"

John couldn't say a word. He just stood there staring at the aliens still shown though the doorway. Holy shit.

* * *

><p>"Alright Newbie, here's the deal. At any given time, there are around 1500 aliens on the planet. Most of them here in Manhattan." P explained as he and John sat on a bench overlooking sea and sky. They had left the agency after Jonathan had came out of his shock scupper.<p>

"Most of them are decent enough and just trying to make a living."

John smirked, "So most of them are cab drivers? That explains so much."

Surprisingly P grinned in return at the younger man, "Not as many as you would think. Humans for the most part don't have a clue. In fact they don't want one. They're happy being oblivious and they think they have a good bead on things- really most of them are assholes. In particular Hugh Jackman but that's another story."

"But some people are smart. They can handle it." John reasoned.

"No Newbie. A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals, and you know it. 1500 years ago, everyone knew the Earth was the centre of the universe. 500 years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat. And 15 minutes ago, you knew that people were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow."

John frowned, "What's the catch?"

"The catch?" P looked out across the water and sighed, "The catch is, you will sever all human contact. Nobody will ever know you exist anywhere. Ever."

You'll know, John inwardly blushed at the sheer corniness of his statement. It was like he had turned into a marshmallow and the situation had turned him into gloop- like a microwave. That's right, he blamed the situation for any embarrassing thoughts. P obviously took his silence for worry over his previous statement as he stood up from the bench. Really it didn't bother him. He hadn't seen his mother in years, Dan was too drunk to notice, the police department hated him and he barely had any friends. It wasn't like he wasn't invisible anyway.

"I'll give you till sunrise to think it over."

"Agent P? Is it worth it?"

The man in black turned back to his hopefully soon to be partner, "Oh yeah, it's worth it Newbie. If you're strong enough."

With that he walked away, leaving John to watch the sunset. He had already made his decision. It was probably the easiest one he had ever made.

* * *

><p>TBC<p>

R&R if you will. Thanks very much to Archadian Rose, x0Rose Hime0x and Kouga-sama for reviewing. Love you all. Logic dictates I should have updated 'My Parallel World' instead as it's my most popular story- I just couldn't find the muse for it but I will soon.


End file.
